Thursday, September 21, 2006
happy birthdae to ahmad n muhammad....n...lia's niece... =) semoga panjang umur n murah rezeki... =) ma mummy knew im goin out 2dae...in d morning she asked me.."ko nie nk kluar dgn sape je nie hah??" i juz smiled...ma mum replied "ahmad pegi ahmad balek!!"...haha...i told her its his bdae...so celebrating wif him..den go NTUC to shop...den bought ahmad's some cakes..den ma mummy sae "asl li cake kecik? asl tk tungu ibu? ibu belikan die cake..." den i sae...no nid lar...usually his fam will celebrate fam member's bdae 2gether at home...so neva buy lorhx...hehe...met him...den go find his shoes...den go eat...den gt one dis nenek hu alwaes loiter ard beach rd to sell her keropok...ahmad gaf her money bt didnt take d keropok..den she told us she wanted to read yasin 4 her late hubby....bt no one wants 2 bring her to d cemetery...poor her...she also said...fasting mth is coming...plz gif her some dates...i cried wen i see her...den i sae...InsyaAllah...makcik jage diri ye...den she walked off...wen i saw her again..i gaf her money too...eventhou i didnt haf enuf 4 maself...i helped her..coz her life is worst den mine...after i gaf her d money....i sit down n talk 2 her...asked where her hubby's cemetery is...bt she doesnt noe...she also asked 4 casette which consist of Yasin in it..so dat she can listen 2 it b4 she sleeps everydae...she cant read...datz y...she also asked 4 a new gown...a green one... =) i really pity her...insyaAllah...one of these daes...kalo ade rezeki...i will cum down there...n pass her dates,yasin n bring her 2 d cemetery if she found out where d cemetery is...InsyaAllah...dgn kuase Allah s.w.t. i realli pity her...i cried all d way...she's old n alone in dis werld...TO MUMMY AND DADDY: InsyaAllah..i will get a good job...n provide u guys wif a comfortable life...i dun want u guys to suffer anymore...insyaAllah i will take care of u guys till i leave dis werld...InsyaAllah....dats all i guess...wanie signing off...DAH!!=WaNie=
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
went 2 NUH 4 ma appointment...DEY TOOK MA BLOOD AGAIN!!! BULLSHIT TELL DEM!! haiz...reach ard 10++ leave nearly 2!! so long...tired of waiting...me n ma mummy keep jokin around abt d people walkin infront of us....MA MUMMY MOUTH 2DAE DAMN LASER!!! fed up seh! den meet d doc oleadi...she said.."hhmm..quite ok...ur blood level haf increased.bt 2 bad it havent reach d normal level yet.therefore i will gif u medicine again.MORE DIS TYM." i was lyke..."huh? muz meh?"...now if i go out i haf 2 bring along ma medicines...!! =:( im so so tired of all dis...wat?? i haf 2 take medicine throu out ma life??? GOSH! haizz...yok 2 ahmad 2dae...cried again..coz so touched...if i allowed him 2 take 2A he will allow me to do wat i want.so its fair n square...ME TOO WANT TO TAKE BIKE LICENSE!!! haha....bt too bad...he sae it isnt ma passion 2 own a bike...so he wont let me take it...i wanted to own a bike coz wanna help transport ma mummy wenever she needed sum1...eventhou me n mummy alwaes haf misunderstanding...i still respect her as d woman hu carried me 4 8 mths n gif birth 2 me...i thank her 4 letting me c d werld...hhmm...bt i still wan 2 take license!!! PLeasHHHhhh.....21st September 2006...marks ahmad's 21st birthday.old oleadi orhx...goin out wif him 2molow...juz wanna b heppi wif him 2molow.... =D HE'S D MAN!! haha....hhmmm...wat else ehx? i guess datz all...wanie signing off..DAH!!!=WaNie=
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
wat a dae 2dae....went to places to find paint!!! heng arh ma daddy paint d house once every 2 or 3 yrs..if nt i will b hunting for paints here n there!!! walked home from central...i was carrying ma darling...n mummy was pushing d basket...den cross d traffic lite as it was green man...den suddenly ma mummy..."ADIK!!!"...i was shocked...a STUPID DAMN BUS DRIVER JUZ SPEED PAST ME...INFRONT OF ME!!! really damn frustrated wif d stoopid bus driver...bcoz of dat stoopid bus driver i was being blamed...!!! hey..it wasnt ma fault ok!!! didnt get d chance 2 take down his vehicle no.! uurrgghh!!! ahmad told me abt he's takin 2A...i wasnt sure abt dat...is d license necessary? 2B is enuf rite wak? eventhou u get d license u said u wont straight awae buy d big bike...remember 2 things... 1. u haf 2 save for d monthly instalment 4 ur KR... 2. u haf 2 save to buy ur new bike....leceh rite? mite as well juz remain wif d KR...i haf fallen in luv wif ur KR lar wak...nvm lar..if u r hepi...den juz take d license...no point tellin if u haf oleadi made up ur mind... =) goin 2 werk dis weekend..at city hall sum more!! dunno can tahan werk 4 12 hrs or nt!!! haha.....its fasting soon...very2 soon....hhmm...juz nw if mumy didnt remind me of ma check up 2molow..i wont remember seh...haha...i juz cant b bothered abt dis animore...haha...hhmm...dats all i guess...wanie signing off...DAH!!!=WaNie=
Monday, September 18, 2006
went IMM wif ahmad...miss ma mr policeman...reach IMM onlie i went toilet vomit...got blood!!! wanted to tell ahmad but...2 things..1. i THINK he was upset coz i was late... 2. he juz walked pass me when i went out of d toilet...so i dun bother 2 tell...den after he went out of toilet...walk in silence...dunno y...den he started talkin abt buying new sandals n shoes...im ok wif dat...den go eat...he told me abt his prezzie...wen he told me dat...i feel really2 guilty...he celebrated ma bdae in grand...bt i cant even afford 2 buy him sumthin...im really2 sowie...he told me abt a ghost story too...suddenli i stopped eatin 4 awhile...haha...scary sia! den go back...b4 dat he said somethin so called "hurtful" to me...bt i didnt take it to heart...its past...haiz...den go down d travelator...i walked 1st...coz damn slow arhx...he tot i was hurt...nvm...den wait 4 d bus wif him....had a good look at ma boyfriend...i cried a lil....he didnt notice...im juz so in luv wif him...i lub him 4 wat he is...2dae he keep saying i look like a down syndrome wen i put both ma hands in ma jeans pocket...TAK BAEK SEH!!!hehe...miz him again rite now...since yesterdae..i keep askin him.."awk,awk dh bosan dgn kite ehx?"...his answer.."tak..kite tk mcm gitu sayang"...i noe he's sincere...bt i juz haf d feelings dat he's tired of me....y? coz i alwaes make him angry...haiz...2dae...very2 tired...lack of sleep...den haf 2 take care of ma darling...atoi...!!very tiring!! den haf 2 bath her summore...haiz...if i really gt children.i will hire a maid!!! haha....hhmm..datz all i guess...wanie signing off...DAH!!!=WaNie=
Sunday, September 17, 2006
didnt do much 2dae...veri boring....woke up...finish reading ma book...den daddy started painting d house....den i was supposed 2 buy another 2 tins of paint...bt at last lazi...hahaha...while ayah was painting..i helped him by watching over d lil gal here...n do the laundry...hanging d laundry...n fold all clean laundry...look out 4 d lil gal again...she 2dae veli sleepy..bt sleep juz a few minutes!!! haha....i continue 2 read another book...den watch tb....den do dis blog...eemm...datz all 4 dae...wanie signing off...DAH!!!=WaNie=
y am i so easily fallen in luv in friendship??? i treasure friendships...bt do they??? dey make me like shit!!! i dun hate dem...i luv dem!!! i juz hate maself for bein easily in luv wif friendship....until i even get backstabbed....haizz...FRIENDSHIP IS PURE N SANE...y muz dey change it?? i juz dun understand...haizz...elyna....i lub her so much...bt does she??? SHE JUZ LUV HER SKATERBOI!!! she aint care abt ma luv...!!! people sae y muz u luv her den?? coz i juz luv her!! she's ma frend...i care 4 her...i luv her...haizz....she aint care abt anithin i do 4 her!!! y??? bcoz she's blinded wif d love of d skaterboi!!!I HATE MASELF FOR LOVIN HER!!!nani...where is she? suddenli gone MIA...is it coz she haf new fwenz dat she 4gots me??? she can haf new frenz...bt plz dun 4get me...coz i luv u so....bt do u? i juz wanna noe...i miz u..i miz d laughter we share....i miz goin bonkerz wif u...I MIZ U SO MUCH!! WHERE R U??? wanee...luv her since i was a loner in ITE...she was there 4 me...i do luv her...y? coz she's ma fwen...eventhou sumtym she haf her mood swing...i tried ma bez nt 2 disturb her...i hope she wont do anithin bad 2 make me more hurt...plz...leah....luv her too....luv her laughter...juz luv her...ma another fwen dat was there wen i was a loner...she alwaes there wif her smile...tk lokek dgn senyuman...luv her 4 wat she is....miz her wen she wasnt in sch d past few weeks...at last yest got 2 meet up wif her...so pweety... =) luv u gal....plz dun hurt me too..nisah...luv her three....ma noisiest fwen...bt kindhearted...she small build bt her laughter is loud...haha...cool man...luv her too...plz dun eva tink of hurtin me...i noe u wont....iffah...luv her too....funky gal as a fren....alwaes laughing...lub her...can click wif her easily...y? i dunno...haha...caring towards me...lub u gal...dun hurt me tau! plz....mulan..luv her as well...d 1st chinese gal in class i can talk to...hah...me n her same personality i guess...we look lyke guys..haha....luv her...coz she luvs to laugh...haha...we like 2 stare at each other den laugh...haha...luv her...angela...ma bestie in badminton!! hehe...alwaes wif her during badminton..luv her too...4 bein there 4 me...she's a humble person...lub u...i am hurt rite now....dunno hw to mend ma bleeding heart...haiz...dats all i guez...wanie signing out...DAH!!!=WaNie=
woke up early 2dae...followed ma parenz 2 buy paint to paint d house..haha...irritating sia at d shop still want 2 argue wat color to take..haiyo!! go out at ard 12++...come back onli ard 3!!! so long juz 2 buy paints.i got onli 2 hrs to rez b4 goin out again...went to majlis tahlil n yasin.wore ma pri 6 suit...still can fit seh!haha...actualli d suit is big!! too bad ma body dirty...if clean I WILL JOIN D REZ TO READ YASIN MAN! bt its k...there alwaes another tym.wen i reached there i was shocked 2 c an ex pri schmate of mine...i look at him...he look at me...our faces are like "budak nie muke mcm kenal..."hahaha...den wen i was there..following wat they were chanting...in ma heart...saes "insyaAllah dgn kehendak Ilahi...wanie tk akn sia2 kan ramadhan kali ini.InsyaAllah wanie akn beribadah sebyk mungkin yg mane wanie mampu.InsyaAllah.""Ya Allah Ya Tuhan ku...berikan lar aku kekuatan utk melawan bisikan syaitan dan juga nafsuku."i realli want to noe d deep meaning of every words of ayat2 suci AlQuran. =) itu lagik bermakne drpd hanye membace membabi buta...hhmm....k...i juz hope everithin will go well 4 me dis Ramadhan..insyaAllah....n plz..dun make me lie dis Syawal..not animore....plz...haizz...ma relationship wif ma sis r so damn far nw...i juz cant face her animore..wen i see her or hear anythin abt her...hatred in ma heart starts to heat up...I JUZ HATE HER DAMN EGO!!! uurrgghhh!!! i noe i dun deserve such a sister in ma life..bt its ketentuan Allah....hmm...i guess datz all....wanie signing out...DAH!!!=WaNie=
Thursday, September 14, 2006
had ma accounting paper yest...it was so damn FCUK..!!! so damn tired studyin bt in d end i cant do it..UGGHH!! its k..over oleadi liaox...n now...HOLIDAES!!!.....I NEED A JOB!!! SOMEBODY...ANYBODY!!! help me pleasshh....sobx...sobx...sobx...hhmm...2dae did nothin actualli...haha...after subuh straight awae go back 2 dreamland...I SLEEP LIKE A LOG!! so sleepy...wake up at d sound of ma aunt...haha....it was onli 1 hr ++ she came onli i woke up..haha...bad2 wanie...ahaha...after salam here....i sae sowie 2 here cant tok 2 her coz wanie wanted 2 sleep again...hahaha...bt i cant...coz ma mummy n ma aunt was talkin abt somethin dat attracts ma attention....HAHAH...tot of goin 2 d park wif ma darling...bt den it was raining..poor her...so boring....nxt tym k darlz..den do wat ehx? i tink juz slack arhx...haha....2dae veri boring arhx...hhmm...2molow goin 2 nisah's pit....woohoo!!! WHEN THERE'S FOOD....THERE'S WANIE!!! hahaha...hhmm...dats all i guez...wanie signing off...DAH!!!=WaNie=
Monday, September 11, 2006
hey!!! im back!!! back for more..!!! haha....hhmm..kinda lazy to blog past few daez...hhehe....stress wif sch arhx...haha...AT LAST!!! biz fundamentals is over!!! yey!!! lets party!!! haha...bt too bad...there's still accounting...nvm..after dat...HOLIDAES!!! woohoo!!! hhmm...d biz paper dis morning was actualli VERY EASY if really study d subject...well...can larhx...wat i studied come out...hopefully can pass... =D hhmm...juz finished ma solat isyak juz nw n mummy was starting her solat...wen she told me dat she saw ma aunt earlier on...den she talked abt her daughter of having a bf...n sae.."ppl cum from d same instituition dats y date each other"...den i said "NO!!! ma frenz haf bf from poly n even UNIVERSITY"...n she still WANTS TO WIN N SAE..."AS IF D GUY WANT D GAL"..i was lyke WTF!! she said DATS WAT PPL SAE...n i raise ma voice..."DATS WAT U THINK N NOT OTHERS...N U ALSO LOOK DOWN ON STUDENTS LYKE ME!!!" den she suddenli bcame silent...so damn frustrated... "aru solat...dh buat dosa wanie"...hahaha....otw to macdonald,saw ma beloved nanny wen i was in d bus n she was walkin home from d pasar...carrying heavy stuffs...poor nanny...miz her lots..eventhou she condemned ma mummy lotz...bt i still ma nanny lotz...really poor thing lar ma nanny...BUSU!!where were u?y u let nanny go pasar on her own?she's old u noe...haizz...wats happenin ard me man??...studied AFD at macdonalds wif wanee n nisah...also ate breakfast there...YUM YUM...long tym neva ate breakfast there...haha...den do AFD...hhmm..supposed d waniez are to teach nisah...bt at d end...nisah go dreamland...n d waniez teach each other...HAHAHA....after sometimes both of d waniez stress out n G.I.V.E..U.P. MUAHAHAHA!!! aniwae....got bad hair dae everydae...dunno wen ma hair will b in proper manner...haha...den go home dunno wat i do...wakakaka...IM CRAZY TODAY!!! haiz...im trying to make maself happy by smiling n laughin lotz...dis few daes were so damn down for me...so many things happen to me,fam,relationship,friendship...EVERYTHING!! i am caught btw taking care of ma permaisuri n ma responsibility as a student...if i neglect ma darling...daddy will nag at me...if i neglect ma studies...mummy will scold me upside down....haiz...wat shld i actualli do? IM CONFUSED! 2dae we gd terms,2molow bad terms den gd terms again...den bad terms again...i dunno wat dis actualli means...im juz tired of all dis small lil things....is it him or me? i guess its me....bt well...he said...if angry juz keep quiet..so these few daes i juz keep to maself n sms him as lil as possible...haizz...lost in confusion of life..."im really sowie...plz forgive me...i dun mind if u hate me"...wat is dis? onlie nw? sincere? i dunno..i juz go wif d flow...hey...do anybody noe y ppl alwaes put d blame on others wen dey are d one hu made d mistakes? aahhh!!! cant b bothered animore....I FEEL LOST N PATHETIC AS I AM PENNILESS!!! I NEED MA JOB BACK!!!....sobx..sobx...sobx...haiz...wen to ask for financial help ONCE again earlier on...i was so embarrassed keep relying on other ppl...i feel so hopeless n helpless....TO DADDY: im nt saying its ur fault dat i haf 2 ask for help here n there..but i am juz so embarrassed....u r fit to werk...bt y dont u? i really want to take care of u n mummy n gif u peepz a gd n comfortable lives...bt i haf to finish schoolin first...daddy...plz...spare a tot for me...plz...i cant take it animore....i can juz explode anitime....datz all i ask from u daddy....TO MUMMY: plz stop havin negative tots on me...plz...im nt dat bad thou....i ALWAES help u wenever u needed me..bt plz...im a human bein wif feelings....u haf 2 spare ma feelings as well...plz....haiz....dats all i guez...wanie signing off...DAH!!!=WaNie=
Saturday, September 02, 2006
didnt do much 2dae...bt juz slack at home...early morning found out dat ma sis is oleadi out...i was lyke "SHIT!!! i haf 2 jage d lil gal here"...haha....ma daddy 2dae..dunno his mood lyke wat lyke dat...shouting at me lyke 4eva...he scold me 4 d things dat i didnt do...WTH!! i juz make face onli arhx...i also bcome no mood...n pass "kecik" to ma mummy...den i suddenli remember ma hp...charged n on it....den suddenly ahmad msg liaox.... =D he called me BUSOK!!! bad2 boy....bt yet he makes me smile...hehe...at d same tym he keep nagging arhx...haha....wat to do..nag also nag...bt WANIE STILL LUB HIM LOTZ!! hehe...in d evening wen he ask me to siap2...i was already took ma towel n goin 2 d toilet..den ma daddy block d way n keep pushing me bhind....den i shouted "AAAAHHHHHH!!!" den wif all ma strength i pushed him back..haha...it goes on n on..sowie ahmad....bcoz of dis i was late...hehe...sowie....den go carik ma present AGAIN...at last!! saw wat i lyke....A CONVERSE SHOE!!! YEY!!! ahmad bought it 4 me...dunno hw many bdae present i got from him oleadi...hehe....i also saw a sandal i loike...!! 4 sure im goin 2 buy it..SOON! hehe...den went to west coast park..coz i wanna play at d playground....bt it was damn pack....weekend mahx...den at last i just listen to d stories ahmad told me...outside wanie juz act fierce..bt inside wanie is so damn scared...hehe...after finish storytelling we go mcdonald coz wanie want to by curly fries n ahmad wanted a drink...den home swit home...dats all 4 todae i guess....wanie signing off...DAH!!!=WaNie=
Friday, September 01, 2006
unsatisfied peepsHEY YOU OUT THERE!!! IF U AINT HEPI WIF ME COME TO ME..DUN INVOLVE D INNOCENT OK!!! THEY ARE NOT AT FAULT....IM D ONE U ARE ANGRY AT AND HATE MOZ...NOT DEM....U CANT GET ANYTHIN BY TREATING DEM LYKE SHIT.....I JUZ WANT U TO TREAT DEM AS NORMAL...NOT LYKE DEY OWE U A LIFE OK....2dae woke up early....eat ma medicine den sleep again..till 1++...i wait ahmad to sms me after solat jumaat..coz we r goin out...nearly 3 he smsed me...told me he goin 2 jb...den onli meet up...he said ard 3.30 den contact me...BUT..he contacted me 4++....by d tym im ready to go out...ma mummy will also ready to go to werk...very trouble some lyke dat...i was so frustrated coz 1. he sms me quite late...2.coz dunno where to meet...i was so damned fed up n decided nt 2 go out oleadi...till nyte feel frustrated...duno wat goin 2 happen nxt...juz wait n see...den do ma BFD notes...AT LAST! finish writing dem liaoxx...nw i haf onli one problem..ACCOUNTING!!! haiz...im tired of staying at home....quarrel here n there....n ma mummy recently keep finding faults wif me...2dae she shout at me..."SIA2 DOC KASI KO MC TAPI KO MERAYAP!!"..i was lyke WTH!! in ma long mc...i onli go to sch n 2dae is d onli dae i went out...is it dat wrong?? haizz...dunno wats happenin at home...i juz dun wanna care anymore...IM TIRED....haizz...ma medicine is finishing soon bt yet...i still feel d same...haizz...i dun wanna go hospital n c d doc again....NO USE...waste money...bt yet still feel d same...wat am i supposed to do?? ma mummy dun bother to care anymore....am i suppose to walk d lonely path alone without anyone's help?? YA ALLAH!!! im clueless n helpless...haiz....i guess dats all...wanie signing off..DAH!!!=WaNie=
