Tuesday, January 27, 2009
i lost my beloved this morning...i cried...i cried...and i continue crying...wen i received the news at work, i was shocked...i cant control the tears...not even now...the tears just wont stop flowing down...i tried to stay strong at work...bt my sadness just wont stop showing...i was asked to go back at 12...straight away went to ma aunt's crib...saw sab as well...and i didnt noe that he knows my dearest as well...the first few moments in the crib was quite ok...bt nt until he was brought in...from there the tears flow...flow like pipe bocor yg tk bole di betulkan lgk...my other cousins must be confuse...why i cried like there's no tomorrow....i am as confuse as them...why didnt they shed a tear at all???dont dey love him as much as i love him???im wondering....bt one thing i noe...I DO LOVE HIM...love him like my own...he was there since i was born...watched me grow up...taught me things...came to ma house whenever he's free....i looked upon him as someone that i really appreciate in life...i saw him grow older each passing dae as well...from he is sihat wal'afiat...till he cant walk bt still can talk..till he cant walk, talk and not even sit...i was there...as he grew older...as he was being prepared...the tears were there...my sadness were there....i feel pain all over me...he's gone...gone forever...i wont be able to see him ever again...i will miss him....he was such a nice guy...his face was very peaceful earlier on...i wanted to kiss him for the very last tym....bt i just cant...the tears just wont stop flowing and the uztaz keep reminding us abt our tears getting on him...so i just sit next to him and look at him real hard for the very last time.. ='(now i have lost all my beloved atoks...how i want to know more about them...and cherish them more...i didnt get the chance to know ma paternal grandad at all coz he was gone even before i was born...how sad can i be...coz every single soul said that ma grandad was a GREAT guy...he's a guy that doesnt noe the meaning of anger...bt he does noe real well the meaning of LOVE and KASIH SAYANG...that's the only thing i noe about ma paternal grandad...i didnt even noe how he looks like..didnt noe how he sounds like...i dont even noe how his love feels...ma step paternal grandad was one good guy as well....i have never seen he frown or even shout...he is a calm guy i can say...eventhough we are nt close...i noe he cares....coz he shows it out loud...how i miss going to his place...how i miss looking at his smiles....i didnt get to see him for the last time coz i was in school...i jolly well remember it all happened in 1997 wen i was in pri 3...ma maternal grandad...he's the closest grandad...i was always there with him...coffeeshop...bird parks...void decks lepak-ing...u just named it....he gave me a nick name that i wont ever forget..."Supinah"...i don even noe how he gets that name from ma name..the only thing i noe is that ma parents gave such a difficult name for me that ma own grandad cant even remember or even pronounce it... bt its ok.. =) coz i noe tht the nick name meant so much to him as well as to me...wen i was still young he was already sick...so volunteerily i helped him whenever i can...i will be his walking stick.....he was gone when i was in pri 1...still young and dumb...i cried and cried...like i cried todae...i kissed him for the very last time coz he's the real love i ever have...blogging about all my beloved grandads makes me miss them more....im sorry to bore u guys with my sad stories...dear tok ah, i am going to miss u like how i miss u everytime...bt now, its even more...may Allah put u with the best and greatest man...Amin...=WaNie=Labels: ini semua ketentuan NYA....aku terima..
